What does it take?

Welcome to the website!

As you can see, I'm still getting this site set up so any feedback you can provide would be greatly appreciated as both you and I would benefit from this.

So here's the main question we need to ask ourselves about self-improvement - What does it take? 

I believe you need three things to become better- a desire to improve, a firm and stated commitment and the tools to get you there. Let's look at each one in-depth.


Desire

I can give you all the tools needed to change yourself but I can't push you to do so. Only you are the one who can change and only you can make yourself change. As much as I'd love to force you to change, only you can do it for yourself; this is where desire comes in.

This can be applied in all phases of self-improvement, whether you're overcoming an addiction, trying to conquer a fear or just learn a tough skill or ability. The main driving force through this is desire; the desire to push through when you're ready to quit, the desire to learn more and above all the desire to see the end goal and know where you're going.

So how do you fuel this desire? Keep your end goal in mind. Reward yourself as you go along. Recording your progress.

Let's use an exercise DVD for our example. This exercise DVD is 45 minutes long and consists of cardio and body movements. You may start out wanting to lose 20 lbs, but after the first 15 minutes you start to think this isn't worth it, you're wasting your time, I'd rather keep the 20 lbs than put up with this. Your desire is fading and you need to inspire yourself to keep this desire going. You can do this by hanging a picture of yourself next to some fit, athletic models or celebrities to remind you of how you compare to them. This can be an excellent motivator as it forces you to intently look at the problem (your weight) and then focus on the tools needed to change this problem (exercise DVD). You work through the DVD, minute by minute, day by day. Soon, 2 weeks pass by and you notice your pants fit a bit better. Maybe you're not so out of breath walking up the stairs or trying to chase your kids around.

Here you have both the reward and recording your progress that I stated above working in your favor. You're rewarding yourself not only by being a better physically fit human being but also because this increase in physical skills boosts your confidence and makes you feel better about yourself. Most, if not all, workout DVDs or exercise programs have a workout sheet that you use to chart your progress. Maybe you could only do 5 push-ups but now, 2 weeks into it, you can do 15. This may not seem like much but you've just increased your push-ups by 200%! You stick with it because you see the results as you progress and become more confident, physically fit and it soon becomes a part of you.

This builds into our second point- Have a Firm Goal

Before you have this DVD, you need a goal to aim for. Without a goal, you can't get anywhere. You can't just buy a DVD and hope for the best without knowing what type of workout you want to do. You need to come up with a clear and firm goal, the firmer the better as this prevents you from straying off path. If you say "My goal is to lose 20 lbs" then after 2 weeks of doing this DVD you might say "I have 4 months until summer, I'll be fine". Guess what? Before you know it, summer is 2 weeks away, you've lost 2 lbs and your post-workout treat is pizza. Many people fail because their goals are not firm enough, just like New Years Resolutions. If you started with "I want to lose 20 lbs in 4 months" you'd be much more likely to stick with this program and your diet because a) you set a firm goal of the weight you want to lose and b) you have a time frame in mind, not just "someday".

Write this goal down. Tell all of your friends about it. Post it on your Facebook/Twitter accounts. Write yourself motivation messages to display on the wall. The more people who know about it, the more they're going to support you (and if they don't support you, DITCH THEM. They're not really your friends!) You need to have this goal properly stated and spelled out so every time you pop in that DVD, your goal comes in mind as you see it in a text message from your friend cheering you on or from all of those motivational posters on the wall with your goal weight written down.This not only fuels your desire but keeps reminding you of what your specific goal is.

Having a clear and specific goal in mind also keeps you on track and prevents anything from throwing you off course. What if you want to buy a car? Would you just walk up and pick any car out there? No- you need a specific goal in mind when it comes to buying that car. How many seats, SUV/Truck/Car, MPG, mileage, reliability, price, color, etc. This goal keeps all of the sales ads and the clutter out of your way and keeps you focused on what exactly you need. You avoid the hassle and go directly for what you want without letting everything distract you.

Tools

So what tools are needed to ensure that we complete our goals? Well for $199.99....just kidding. There are tons of resources out there that you can just google and 100,000+ results will come up. Anything from public speaking, conquering a fear or even how to install new brakes on your vehicle. You name it, Google's got it. We live in an age where anything we want help with can be found easily through Google, Youtube, eHow, libraries, articles, even certain magazines which are designed for a certain skill (cooking, cars, weight lifting).

Google and Youtube are one of the best tools to use to find out information about a certain skill or task which you learn to do. Youtube is the best because it's visual, step-by-step and you can stop and rewind if you're unfamiliar about a certain step of the process. Google is also great because you can find anything from Youtube results, eHow, custom websites for those particular skills/abilities you want to get better at (public speaking, writing, building a website). It's also a lot easier and more convenient to type in "Public Speaking fears" on a Google search than going to a library, trying to see if the library has that book in stock, how good the content of each book is and then read the whole book. Instead, you can plug a search phrase into Google and search twenty websites in the same time as it would take you to find one good book at the library.

Libraries are still great though because one whole book is usually dedicated to your topic of choice. If you're looking for public speaking for example, there are tons and tons of books out there on JUST public speaking and everything about it - fears, tips, composure, dress, tone of voice, preparating notes, how to introduce keynote speakers, on and on.

However, the best tool you can use is getting a mentor. A mentor can be a coach, a guide, a teacher, a co-worker or just someone with great experience in that particular field. They can show you the ins and outs, explain procedures and methods in detail and are far better than any other resource out there. You can ask them questions directly instead of skimming over articles or Google searches to find your answers and because of their experience they can usually give you little tips and tricks that will make learning and perfecting that skill much easier with less effort.

All three tools are needed in order for you to become a better person. If you don't have A and B, C won't help you, much like a recipe. This recipe needs all three elements in order to work; if not, you might end up with a bad cake (or in this case, an unfulfilled ability).